Preschool and Routines?

The Question:

Dear Jane,

I really enjoyed your first "Letter" about discipline, and can't wait for your input on caring for babies. I've also been curious about your opinion on pre-school, as you once mentioned you had some specific feelings about it. I would love for you to elaborate on that. I'm also just curious about what a typical daily/weekly routine would look like for you with small children at home. I have a 3 year old and a 16 month old and I often wonder if I'm striking the "right" balance between housework, playing, teaching, going to playgroups, and finding "me" time. Did you tend to have a predictable weekly routine with specific activities specific days (and daily routines as well) or did you plan as you went along depending on what you felt like that day/week?

I am a very social person, and tend to be involved in 2 playgroups outside the home during the week, and sometimes have friends over here an additional day - this keeps me thriving but I also sometimes wonder if it's more important that we create activities and routines at home with just us. I have also considered working some formal "preschool" time into our routine with my 3 year old, but am not entirely sure how or where to start. Anyway, I welcome your thoughts and experiences!

Jeanine

The Answer:

Dear Jeanine,

Thank you so much for your great question. I can remember very well my early years with children. There always seems to be that nagging question lurking in the back of our minds, "Am I doing this right? Should I be doing more to prepare my children for school? Shouldn't there be more structure?"

The most wonderful, freeing realization you can have as a mother, is that you are creating a world for your children. When you tune in to their needs and key off of them, instead of what your friends and neighbors are doing, or even what the experts are saying, you will experience a new level of pleasure and confidence as a mother. I hate to say too much about it because, it's really up to you!

Some of my children loved drawing and crafts. When I noticed this interest, I would set up a little table for them and provide simple supplies and piles of paper. I made a shoe box for their best work and was amazed at the hours they would spend drawing, coloring and cutting things out to put in their box. Other children were not at all interested in crafts. They might enjoy digging or building with legos. One of my children loved animals. I couldn't get animal library books fast enough and we gradually built a collection of plastic animals. I've always had a chest full of dress-up clothes and I love puppets. Nothing needs to be fancy or expensive. But little children thrive when we feed their interests. I've always steered away from commercial fads--like action figures. I like to keep things simple, real and creative.

When it comes to preschool, I think it's completely unnecessary. I know it seems that if everyone else is sending their children to preschool, yours will be socially and academically stunted if you don't get on board. But these are precious, wonderful years. Those little three and four year olds are sponges like they'll never be again. Their ABC's are nothing. You are teaching them real life lessons--always in a context of faith. Listen to these inspired words:

"We become enamored with men’s theories such as the idea of preschool training outside the home for young children. Not only does this put added pressure on the budget, but it places young children in an environment away from mother’s influence. It is mother’s influence during the crucial formative years that forms a child’s basic character. Home is the place where a child learns faith, feels love, and thereby learns from mother’s loving example to choose righteousness. How vital are mother’s influence and teaching in the home—and how apparent when neglected!" - Ezra Taft Benson

I have participated in play groups and cooperative "Joy Schools" over the years, but nothing academic. Each child has loved kindergarten and has been very successful. I knew that some of their classmates could read before they started, but I didn't care about that--unless my child showed great interest in letters and reading. Then I supplied little workbooks.

Besides their individual gifts and interests, your children will almost certainly share yours! If you love music, so will they. If you're a naturalist or an animal lover, your children will pick up on those interests. I majored in English and love poetry and books. Each one of my children share that love and are gifted writers. That bond has brought me great joy over the years. In the world you create for your children, you will discover the unique gifts your children come with and the talents that you all share. You don't have to follow lesson plans or color visual aids to make this happen. And you certainly don't have to drop them off somewhere. Just love them, enjoy them, and let them emerge in their own way.

Rather than structure and schedule the whole day, choose a few daily routines that you stick to. I loved the way my sister Susan would get all of her children ready for their day right after breakfast. After they were dressed, she would comb their hair, wash their faces and put a little vaseline on their cheeks. They just looked shiny clean. I always shot for that lofty goal and occasionally, I made it! Every day after lunch and before naps, my friend Lisl, chooses a picture from the gospel art kit and teaches the story to her preschoolers. She loves that time with them. These daily rituals establish order and build security. You can prayerfully decide what things are important enough that you will do them every day.

I love this role. I get to paint my walls and schedule my days and decide what matters. And while I can get ideas and inspiration from others, I love that ultimately, it's up to me. Is there really any greater opportunity for creative expression? I hope we can each fully appreciate and take advantage of this great trust and blessing.

All my love,

Jane