Find Time for Spirituality?

The Question:

How do you maintain your spiritual life while in the trenches of motherhood?

It seems like I can just never find my groove to make personal worship consistent. You know how it goes, you finally find a quiet minute and you're asleep two verses in. I go back and forth between thinking I just need to cut myself some slack, and thinking I just need to try harder and stop making excuses for myself. You don't ever hear other women talking about this, I think, because we all feel guilty that we aren't doing more. I guess I'm just sick of pretending and hoping that showing some honesty and humility by asking the question will help me find what I feel like I'm missing.

-Brooke

The Answer: Growing Spiritually As A Mother

I've developed kind of a mental image about our spiritual education. To me, it's like a college class that contains both course work and lab work. We learn about things and then we're put in situations where we have a chance to apply them. Motherhood is the most intense lab work known to man. We are taxed in every possible way. We're tired, stretched and often pushed right to the edge physically and emotionally and in that state, we strive to respond lovingly to our family. And, more often than not, we actually succeed. We "suffer long and are kind". I was never very successful at having a regular study progam at your stage. I've always read from the scriptures almost every day--but sometimes just a few verses. I read an article here and there. My Sundays were more exhausting than uplifting. But my days were absolutely saturated in service to my family. And that "lab work" is more valuable than hours of study.

Don't feel guilty about falling asleep with your scriptures after a long day of "bringing to pass the immortality and eternal life of man". That's what motherhood is. It's God's true work. What you want is his help in doing it. Pray each morning for his help. Dedicate your service to him and seek the spirit so that you can teach your children. Don't mentally make your spiritual progress a separate thing from your life. It's happening. You are not only staying on the path, you're bringing these little ones with you.

You'll come to my stage and you'll have an hour or more a day to study and ponder. You'll be able to attend the temple regularly and read the whole conference Ensign. (That's course work.) But you'll see that your real growth took place in the trenches. The scriptures, prayer, the meetings are tools to strengthen you. Use them instead of "how to" books. I eventually tossed every parenting book and just studied the gospel instead and I found that even a few verses gave me the eternal perspective I needed. They invited the spirit.

I learned to pray often as I went through my days--for patience, for ideas, for all kinds of help. I would pray about one of my children and then I noticed that during the day, as I thought about the problem, an answer would come into my mind. I learned without a doubt, that the Savior is real and that I wasn't on my own. So I emerged from those really intense years with a spiritual strength I didn't have before.

Natalie was just here over Christmas and I was really in awe of her growth as a person. She can't see it at all, but the rest of us can. She was concerned like you are that she isn't getting much time for spiritual education. I just wanted to laugh. I really did. It's like watching someone arrive at a destination and then feel bad because they hardly had time to look at the map.

I hope this helps you. It's not eloquent but it's my honest experience. I know the Lord loves you for your humility and I also know, he will help you every day.

With Love, Jane